


Actual (Blank) Rick Grimes

by ohmytheon



Category: Walking Dead (TV)
Genre: Actual (Blank) Rick Grimes, Alternate Universe - Crack, Gen, Pure Crack, i just want to be happy
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-03-03
Updated: 2014-03-03
Packaged: 2018-01-14 10:24:20
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,591
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1262776
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ohmytheon/pseuds/ohmytheon
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A series of ficlets featuring Rick Grimes and the different roles that he takes on during the show and in many crack-filled scenes, such as Actual Zombie Apocalypse Detective Rick Grimes and also Actual Stay-at-Home Dad Rick Grimes. Some of these will be silly - and some of these will not be silly. All of them will be a character study of Rick and feature the rest of the characters as well.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Actual (Blank) Rick Grimes

**Author's Note:**

> If this sounds like crack, don't worry; it is. I was watching the episode where Rick is trying to figure out who killed Karen and David, and I started laughing, "It's Actual Zombie Apocalypse Detective Rick Grimes!" and it sort of stuck for me. When I was watching "Claimed," the stay-at-home dad idea popped into my head and I started talking with a friend on tumblr about it. I realized that I wanted to write this in order to cope with my emotions concerning the show. I wanted something light and fluffy and super cracky and I don't really care. So yes, some of these will be silly and dumb and so totally AU that it might hurt, but such is life.
> 
> Example - this one features a storyline where the group finds each other again and they're staying in some sort of safe haven similar to Woodbury but is not run by a sociopathic pirate.

**Chapter One**

Actual Stay-at-Home Dad Rick Grimes

Sometimes, when Rick wakes up, he can hardly believe that things are really happening. He’ll blink a few times into the sunlight and consider pinching himself, but he never does. It’s like he’s afraid that if does pinch himself, he’ll actually wake up.

So he rolls over in the bed and checks on Judith, gently touches her round baby belly with his calloused fingers, smooths down her thin brown hair. After being separated from her at the prison, he never wants to be away from her again. It’s desperation and fear, but he doesn’t care. When they found this place and were accepted into its community, he made it clear what he was going to do.

He’s been a lot of things – a cop, a husband, a leader (a dictator) – but he’s none of those things anymore.

What he is now is a father. And after spending way too much time wrapped up in his unstable mind, he’s got a lot of making up to do – to both of his children, to Carl who has grown so much in the past year that sometimes he’s unrecognizable, to Judith who has saved his life in more ways than he can count on both of his hands.

They share a house with another family, making rooms bedrooms when they were living rooms or offices before. It’s what has to be done. He doesn’t mind though. They’re a nice couple with two younger kids of their own. He’s actually pretty happy to see toddlers because then he knows it’s possible for children to survive in this world. He sees the twin girl and boy run around the house and he thinks of Carl at that age chasing him around with a toy gun and he wonders what Judith will look like at that age, if she’ll want long hair or shorter hair, if she’ll want a dress or jeans, if he can just find her a pair of cowboy boots like Carl had.

He gets out of bed and pulls on his boots. By the time he’s ready, Judith is usually already awake, holding out her arms in anticipation for him to pick her up. He does, cradling her carefully, whispering words to her that she can’t understand yet. The next thing he always does is check on Carl. They turned a little office room into his own bedroom so he could have his own space. He’s a teenager now. Even in the apocalypse, it’s nice to have some privacy when you’re younger. Carl’s been sleeping in lately, but he knows that when it’s time to get up and go to class, there’s no ifs, ands, or buts. The funny thing is that Carl never complains. He’s secretly happy to do something as painfully normal as go to school and listen to one of the three teachers in the community for a few hours.

“You up, kiddo?” Rick asks as he nudges the door open with his foot.

Carl only groans in response and pulls the blankets over his head. Rick just smiles and heads towards the kitchen. By then, Judith is wide awake and is tugging on his beard. It’s her favorite thing to grab. Maggie teases him, saying that he’s growing the beard out to be a makeshift toy for the baby, and she’s not entirely wrong. When Judith grabs at him, it reminds him that he’s alive and she’s alive, and she always laughs at the faces he makes and if he can drown the moans and groans of the dead with anything, it’s her laugh.

Once in the kitchen, Rick sets Judith down in a high chair and hands her one of her toys, a set of keys they found lying around. While she’s entertained, he gets started on making lunch. He makes two, as he does every morning. It’s nothing fancy – nothing like the healthy and great lunches Lori would make for him and Carl – but it’s something. Each house is stocked with provisions for the families living in them. It’s nice. They can all pretend that things are relatively normal. It’s a dangerous way of thinking, but he clings onto it more than ever after losing the prison. He makes the two PB&J sandwiches, throwing in a bag of chips in one and an apple in the other, and then sets them on the counter.

Right as he’s starting to fix Judith her meal of mashed up apple and peanut butter, Michonne slides into the room.

“Morning,” he says without even looking up.

“Morning.” She sits down at the island next to Judith, jingling the keys a little to play.

Rick looks up and notices the sword hanging from her back. “Perimeter check today?”

“Yup.” She snatches a slice of apple and pops it into her mouth real quick, like he’s going to say something or try to stop her. “Rodriguez says that there might be some damage to the south wall so he wants to get ahead on it while it’s nice out today.”

“Mm, it’s looking like rain might come later on this evening.”

At this, Michonne practically rolls her eyes. “Funny. The apocalypse happens, and we are still no closer to determining the weather for the day than we were back when we had technology and meteorologists.”

Rick looks at her. Michonne looks at him. He doesn’t need to say it out loud for her to know that he wants her to be careful; and she doesn’t need to remind him that she can more than take care of herself and other people as well. Everyone’s got a job in this new place. When they were welcomed in here, they were told that everyone had a job and everyone worked. Everyone had their part in the community. At least one person in every family had to work. The children were allowed to work, but it was obvious that they really wanted the children to go to school. Michonne only needed to look at Rick once before she stepped up and volunteered to be the worker in the family. No one asked any questions. No one said a word, at least not to him.

He often wonders if she’s frustrated with him and the way he’s cooped himself up in this house with the baby and the toddlers. The two fathers that they share the house with both work, and Rick offered to watch their kids if they ever needed him to. He’s become a regular babysitter. Other parents sometimes drop their kids off here at this point. If Michonne has ever harbored any irritations at him for wanting to be a stay-at-home dad, she’s never shown it in the way that she smiles at him when she catches him playing peek-a-boo with Judith and never complains when she eats the food that he’s prepared for her.

“You ready to go, Michonne?” Carl asks as he walks into the room.

“Are _you_ ready?” She stands up and gives the boy a careful look over. “Did you even attempt to comb your hair or did you just splash water on it?”

“I combed it.” Carl swats her hand away from him, and Michonne laughs. It still surprises Rick whenever she laughs. She never did so at the prison and she rarely does in front of him still. Her laughs are saved for Carl, her best friend. He picks up the bag of lunch that Rick prepared and starts for the door when he catches the look on Michonne’s face. “Oh, thanks, Dad.”

Michonne raises her eyebrow at Rick. “My compliments to the chef.”

“You haven’t had it yet,” Rick counters as he lazily leans against the counter.

“Somehow, I don’t think even you could mess up a PB&J,” Michonne tells him, that smile on her face that only he gets to see. With everyone else, outside of this house, she’s so serious, so very deadly. But here, at their little home, she’s…herself.

It’s strange, this home, but it’s more than he’s had in years and it scares him and thrills him. Sometimes, when Michonne and Carl are gone, when it’s just him and Judith in the house, he’ll picture what Shane would say. Shane would’ve hated him like this – Shane would’ve growled and stomped and called him weak.

He doesn’t hear that though. Daryl pops in to ask how Little Asskicker is doing and they’ll sit on the porch and just watch the sunset, but he’ll break the silence sometimes and say things like, _“I didn’t think fathers like you existed,”_ out of the blue. And Carol will come by, and he’s okay with her now, and she’ll give him some pointers on how to handle a little girl when she’s no longer a baby. Glenn and Maggie stop in and he sees the way they look at Judith and then at each other, sees the way they crave that part of their lives but are terrified of it at the same time. Beth stops in during the afternoon so that he can shower and do other things and give him a break and he’s so incredibly thankful and she always tells him to stop making her food, that those rations are his, but he can’t do anything else to thank her for all that she’s done.

So yeah, he was a cop. He was a leader. But now, he’s just content being a stay-at-home dad in the middle of the apocalypse. That’s just fine with him.


End file.
